Niccori, huh... So, that's the name I came up with, what, 3 or so years ago?
Wha- Why...? Oh, Kyary Pamyu Pamyu?
Cringing at my past self BUT it's fine!
I think it's good to make things you cringe at. Over time, say, maybe 10 years later, things you make, cringe or not, are fun treasures to look back on.
That being said, let's keep the cringe rolling! I remembered this blog existed because I've seen more and more people want to return to blogs and personal sites nowadays. I have no complaints. Personal sites, are some of the most fun things to look at online. The old form of web surfing is really fun!
That being said, I want to look into more webhosting stuff now, too. And find a way to have a site that's uniquely my own. Now that I left my job to be, what, a NEET?... I might as well learn something with this extra time...
So what will we do today, then? I say, at 2AM
Howabout... Since I don't want to draw doodles on my laptop right now, let's look through some of my bookmarks!
Random Bookmark #1: Japanese Waitress Uniform Encyclopedia
Okay, well, this one is nice! It has a banner and everything... What's that?
"Why are you starting with this, of all things, you weirdo I don't know online...".
Uh, what was that? Speak up, I can't hear you...
Anyways.
This is actually a more recent bookmark of mine. I really like maid outfits (...should I mention my gender to make this less creepy? actually, nvm, I don't care if anyone cares LOL), and this site actually catalogues some from the early 2000s to the early to mid-2010s. It's a nice piece of old Japanese web, well preserved to this day, too.
There's a related site, (uhhh why are they spelling it that way-) Cawaii Costume Club (ohhhh it's so it's alliterative) that's a lot more modern, I can't remember how I found both of them, but I think the two artists may know eachother? Wow, good 2AM memory yaayaya.
Okie dokie. NEXT. Find something else, me.
Random Bookmark #2: Old Earthbound Zero Beginnings Fanpage (through The Wayback Machine)
So, this, on the other hand, is not a recent bookmark AT ALL. Honestly, I have no idea where I found it. Maybe I was on an "old web rampage" and came across a link. That would probably be the most likely story.
As I was looking at it, at first, after picking at random, I was wondering. I remembered in the Earthbound Legends of Localization book, that Mato, the guy who wrote it, had a screenshot of one of his old versions of his site. At first, I was like, "oh, did I try to find it in the Wayback Machine or something", but uh, it looks nothing like that, from what I can remember. (I'm not going to bother looking for it right now, its almost 3AM as I write.
So then, obviously, it's a different fan's fansite, duhhh.
But who's?
So I looked into it- there's no "about me" section, which, makes sense. It's about the game, not the person writing in this case, but, I did find them.
I'm pretty sure their screenname was kindarspirit. They wrote an EB Zero guide (showing my age... jk. it was renamed beginnings maybe a few years after I got into Earthbound, but still, first impressions do stick.) and that's how they credited themselves. Pretty cool site overall!
But, like the first link, one leads to another, and, I found this group of old MOTHER fansite links too.
If you plan on going to the top page of that JP link, I suggest using the Wayback Machine, once again. It's all mojibake, now. Boo.
I love the Earthbound games. I wish I was into the fandom during it's heyday online. I came into it a little too late, but now I think if you got into, you'd be even MORE late, lol.
So long as there's Smash Bros., though, I think there will always be some interest, yes? "Who is that capped child?", "Who is this blond version of him?". That's what you're supposed to ask. That's how I got into Earthbound, anyways LOL
CAN WE GET A FLASHBACK UP IN HERE?!
It is the year, idk, 200X.
You are a child, in the game room of your house, with your older siblings.
Despite, by all means, being too young to be a hipster, you are. Being stubborn is a part of you, being a contrarian, even more so.
You are also... a bit of an idiot.
You dislike things you don't fully understand. Because, it's 200X, and you've just learned, disliking things for no reason, is cool, and epic, and trendy... or something. IDK.
So, knowing this, you look upon the cover of Smash Bros. Melee.
Looking at the dot eyed face of the capped child, you decide to make a stunning statement. One with no basis whatsover, just because, once again, you're a bit of an idiot.
"I hate Mother."
(i like to reimagine my memory of this with a victorian child voice. go ahead. do it.)
ALSO I DON'T KNOW HOW I KNEW THE JAPANESE NAME OF IT, AND WHY WAS I LOOKING AT A COPY OF MELEE AND NOT BRAWL, BECAUSE WOULDN'T I ONLY KNOW THAT FROM LUCAS' TROPY DESCRIPTION IN BRAWL?!
In any case, your siblings are understandably horrified and confused.
"I'M TELLING MOM!"
Despite your efforts to re-explain your amazingly thought-out phrase, and stance on the matter, your siblings endlessly tease you about it. There's no winning this one... Game over.
Wow what a riveting story. Can you tell I'm writing this as a diary first and caring about the reader second?!
I would hope so by now!
But, yeah... If that's how I was as a child, you can only imagine, yeaars later, after becoming an Earthbound fan and being in the already dying fandom, when Undertale came out.
Actually, at first I liked it!
I had hoped that people would get into Earthbound or at least MOTHER 3 because of it...
But, no such luck... In fact, after a while, the fandom got REALLY grating. And they suffered from the Onceler Syndrome, which is honestly really funny.
Which is to say, I guess there weren't enough Tumblr Sexymen to ship together, because yaoi, and so they started shipping Sans. With himself.
Top tier comedy, NGL (short for neon genesis LOL-gelion I let my intrusive thoughts win on this site, much to daytime and future-me's chagrin, no doubt.)
Well, now I oscillate between love and hate to it. On one hand, I was jealous that a new game, with Earthbound as only one piece of influence to it, mind, was getting so much attention by people my own age. And also I was jealous of the maker of the game, I really wanted to be a game maker at the time, and while I can blame my lack of doing anything on a lot of things, it was just that. Unfounded, irrational jealousy. If only other baseless haters could admit the same thing LOL. I also was annoyed when people claimed "one person" made it. Uh, no, there was an artist too! (nowadays, I want to think more people know better, I'd imagine?)
On the other hand, I liked it a lot. Yeah, honestly, I'm not a fan of the graphics looking at it now (familiarity breeding contempt?), yeah it's a short indie game, but, the songs are bangers, it was made from a place of love and passion, and, more than anything I have ever done thus to this point, it exists online, for the world to see... That takes courage.
Do I get a little annoyed when I see Toby Fox on anything "officially" MOTHER related still? Yeah... But, I think he earned the right to be acknowledged in such a big way.
Saying this through gritted teeth, but it's true. Like I said, love, and hate. And jealousy. A lot of it. But, I like to think I can be better than that!
it also doesn't help when you try to get your friends into a game you love but they ignore it, and when what you viewed (emphasis on past tense, i recognize it as it's own piece of media now, duhh!) as a "lite" version of the game you love, starts being fawned over and adored by your friends... you tend to get a little annoyed...!
Anyways, holy tangent, batman! It's almost 4AM! Stop laying your heart out on display for the world to see. ...batman.
One more link for the road. I think, people who skim across this, are probably more interested in links, than my sudden rambling.
Okay, so while I was looking through my bookmarks, I got a little depressed. I found an old site I made on Google sites, but it only made me sad. Remember a few seconds ago how I told you "I make a lot of excuses" to myself, to not publish stuff online? It was a bunch of my old art. And I'm kind of going through something right now, regarding that and... other stuff.
Anyways. "What does this have to do with that", you ask? Well.
I've been on an aquarium/sea creature kick lately, ("already losing the plot." you say- HOLD ON, OK?) and there was a game on Itch.io I came across a long time ago, but for the life of me I couldn't remember!
But I guess past me had some foresight! (PAT ON BACK HERE, MY THERAPIST SAYS I NEED TO BUILD UP MYSELF UP MORE)
Because this bookmark was the game I was looking for.
Well, looking at it now, it's a bit simple. Definitely was a 'bookmark now, look later' moment for me.
I like the graphics. Reminds me of Petz. (I MENTIONED PETZ LAST POST?! Does the nostalgia of a personal site make me want to go back to the Petz days?!)
But that's not what snapped me out of the gloom...
It's from the same maker as the fish game. It looks to be a little programming experiment with friends? Maybe it was for a game jam? IDK.
Since I followed the link out of curiosity, lol haha old meme, Michaelsoft Binbows (tm), whatever-
And since it's like, you know, a simple fake OS... might as well play around with it a bit, while I'm there.
It boots.
I click around, okay... Inside jokes between friends, maybe?
I click on the store.
"Pile of junk"... Okay, buy.
"The watcher"... Okay, b- AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
"igotjumpscaredbyiteventhoughitsjustaneyeokayclosethetab!"
I am the coolest person I know. I click on things that I get 'jumpscare vibes' from, and freak out anyways when I do get jumpscared.
Maybe I would have been a cooler person if I didn't spoil the jumpscare? ( ˵ •̀ ᴗ •́˵)
It did help my mood though. More funny than anything...
But yeah. On that note of 4AM ennui, I'm done. It's fun to surf the web, right? Especially when you're jumpscared by something ultimately harmless, pfft.
I kind of still want to play a game (especially an old one!), despite the late hour. But I should be more responsible. You know, sleep.
Also, another, more personal, deeper note? I know I'm writing in this as more of a diary. But look, even though there are no followers... (well, TBH I wasn't even aware Neocities allows for followers, and who's to say this stays my way of hosting this blog), apparently people viewed my blog. Real people, I hope, but still.
I myself, will read or skim random people's blogs too. Realize theres a world in there. I always do wonder, "who do these people write for?", especially when there's no outwards proof of followers.
I'm aware my writing and formatting style kind of sucks right now. I hope I can make it better over time. I hope I continue to post more frequently. ADHD sucks. But, I'm not an incapable person. Learning habits, consistency... It just takes me more time, but I can do it. Especially with incentive- but yeah, I guess expectations psyche me out.
I like to encourage myself- think of that scene in Spiderverse- the one where Miles spraypaints "no expectations", gets into the flow-
Also, of all things, that one Daft Punk song- Giorgio.
"Once you free your mind about a concept of harmony and of music being "correct", you can do whatever you want. So, nobody told me what to do, and there was no preconception of what to do."
"Do whatever you want"... A foreign concept to me, as an adult who's spirit broke early in life. But, starting is still starting.
Isn't this a start?